


Higher Than High

by allofspace



Series: Higher Than High [1]
Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofspace/pseuds/allofspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set just after 4x09.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Higher Than High

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have no idea how being a cop works and I’m taking liberties in order to make the characters do what I want!

Traci walked into the locker room to grab a pack of gum from her bag, but stopped short when she heard humming. She continued on to find Gail adding the finishing touches to her uniform and Traci could tell she was happy. Gail turned, not having noticed Traci yet, with a huge smile on her face that immediately changed to surprise when she saw Traci standing there.

“God! You scared me,” Gail said accusingly. 

“Sorry. I was just shocked that there was actual humming coming from Gail Peck,” Traci grinned. “I’m guessing the date went well last night.” Traci hadn’t seen Gail so happy in a long time. 

Gail went a bit wide-eyed momentarily and then shrugged, “it was fine.” She shut her locker and walked past Traci. She could tell there was something Gail wasn’t telling her; she was a detective after-all. But she didn’t want to pry, especially with Gail. Traci watched Gail leave with a thoughtful look and decided she’d try to figure it out later. 

~*~

Gail didn’t mean to lie to Traci; she’d just been caught off guard. It would have been easy to just say no, it wasn’t a date. It would have been easy to just tell Traci she cancelled and made plans with a friend instead. But Gail had felt like a deer in headlights and suddenly felt as if she’d had something to hide. Now she was trapped in a lie and she couldn’t change her story without making things weird. Traci would wonder why she lied about hanging out with Holly and it would probably turn into a big thing. Gail didn’t like big things, so she hoped Traci would drop it. 

Traci, of course, didn’t drop it. After the morning meeting where Gail determinedly glared at Andy and Nick who were sitting together, hoping that if she stared hard enough they might actually combust. Gail could sense something changed between them and it made Gail feel a bit sick. Just a few weeks ago she was joking about being engaged to Nick, and now him and Andy were practically dating already. She missed most of what Oliver said, but it was just the usual stuff. No big cases, so they were all just going on patrol. She was about to check who’d she be stuck with for the day when Chloe came up to her with a smaller-than-usual smile. Great, there’s no way Chloe would be coming up to her unless they were working together. Yes, Gail had just sort of apologized to her the other day in a time of weakness, but that didn’t mean they would suddenly be besties. Surprisingly, Chloe was actually approaching with something like caution and that abated Gail’s normal venomous disposition toward her. 

“Hey,” Chloe said and Gail nodded. “Looks like we’re partnered up today,” she said with fake excitement and a wider smile. Gail had to try not to groan. Then Nick and Andy walked past her and out the doorway; Andy laughing heartily with her hand on Nick’s shoulder and Nick watching her like she was the most fascinating thing since sliced fucking bread. She crossed her arms and tensed her jaw, trying not to have any extreme emotional reaction. Now so wasn’t the time. She looked across the room and saw Sam Swarek in almost the exact same stance as her and it was almost funny, except it was actually just pathetic. They’d both been screwed over now. 

Gail thought back to the night Andy and Nick left for undercover, when she and Sam had both been waiting at the Penny, alone together. She knew Swarek never much liked her, but after that night there was almost an unspoken bond between them. They never really talked again after that night but Sam’s glance moved toward her and he nodded and walked away. She didn’t respond with anything, but was soon torn away from her thoughts with Chloe’s shrill voice. 

“So, I’m gonna get the car ready,” she said, pointing in the general direction of the parking lot. 

“Yeah, you do that,” Gail said, with no venomous sarcasm or fake-friendliness. They would probably get along better this way, if Gail was just honest about her bad moods. Chloe nodded once and went on her way. Gail watched her leave and find Dov in the hallway, bumping shoulders as they walked. She was contemplating bashing her head on the wall just for something else to think about when Traci came up to her. 

“Hey, you okay?” She was concerned and it came through in her tone. 

“Yeah, peachy,” Gail spoke with a tone that she hoped portrayed she was the opposite of peachy.

Traci rubbed one of her arms. “It’ll be okay. I mean you had a great date last night, right? I haven’t seen you that happy in a while, you should keep seeing him.”

Gail sighed. Of course Traci thought she was helping, but it really only made things worse right now. 

“I’ve gotta go meet up with Chloe,” Gail excused herself. 

“I want details later!” Traci called from behind her, and yeah, Traci so wasn’t gonna drop it. 

It was a pretty uneventful morning and Gail drove so she could concentrate on something, anything, that wasn’t her personal drama. She shut down any questions Chloe asked her that were not about work, and the morning thankfully passed with ease. By noon, it was time for lunch and they were just getting into the car after settling a noise complaint call. Gail checked her phone as she’d felt it vibrate earlier. It was a text from Holly and Gail ignored the feeling in her stomach as she read the text. 

_Lunch today? If you’re not too busy catching bad guys and don’t mind possible traces of formaldehyde in your food._

Gail almost laughs out loud but purses her lips instead and replies: _Ok. But I’m bringing the food and we’re not eating in your disgusting lab. Meet me at the station?_ She grins as she presses send and shoves the phone back into her pocket. Chloe is looking at her as she’s starting the car, and she looks like she’s about to ask Gail something she won’t want to answer.

“Heading back to the station for lunch, that cool?”

Chloe seems to consider this for a moment before deciding she better not test her luck; it’s not good to be on Gail’s bad side. 

“Yup, I think Dov wanted to try and meet there anyway.”

“Peachy,” Gail said dryly. 

They stopped at a sandwich place on the way back to the station so Gail could pick up food. She was picky, but she imagined Holly was more easy-going so she got them both turkey club sandwiches on rye bread. When Chloe asked who she was having lunch with, she just shrugged and said, “a friend.”

It wasn’t that Gail wanted to hide Holly. Most people had met her at Frank and Noelle’s wedding, but Gail didn’t know if they all knew Holly had been her plus one. Which she also wasn’t hiding, by the way; friends can be plus ones. Gail determinedly did not think about the coatroom kiss at that point, because even that was too much denial for her to handle. 

Chloe went to look for Dov once they got to the station, though his and Oliver’s squad car wasn’t back yet. Gail found Holly waiting at an empty desk in the station, clearly abusing her power a little.

“Hey nerd,” Gail said as she approached the desk. It had almost become a term of endearment. Holly swiveled around in the chair to smile up at Gail. “How’d you get in here?” Gail asked.

“Told them I had analyzed a body for you and needed to give you the details personally,” Holly smiled cheekily. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Am I supposed to think you’re a crazy rebel or something?” Gail asked, acting unimpressed.  
Holly just gave her a bigger smile. “So, where are we eating?” she asked as she pointed to the brown bag Gail was holding and then looking around at the nearby desks. 

“Hmmm,” Gail screwed up her face exaggeratedly while she thought. “It’s a secret!”  
Holly laughed with an eyebrow raised. “Alright, I guess I’ll just have to trust you then.”

Gail led Holly to a stairwell in an unpopulated hallway and ascended to the rooftop. It wasn’t too windy, but it was overcast, and a little cool since they were up higher. 

“Wow, is this your secret cop hangout? Should I be honoured?” Holly joked, placing a hand on her chest.

“Shut up,” Gail teased back. “I like it up here,” she replied honestly as she shrugged.

“It’s nice,” Holly said softly. When Gail looked up, Holly was smiling at her. She sat on the ledge with her feet hanging over. 

“Not afraid of heights are you?” Gail plopped the bag from the shop beside her.

“Well actually, now that you mention it,” Holly said sarcastically as she sat beside Gail with the sandwich bag between them.

“Uh, I didn’t really know what to get you, so I got you what I liked,” she said as she handed Holly the wrapped sandwich. 

Holly shrugged. “I’m not picky.”

It made Gail smile -- probably far more than it should have -- that she’d guessed right. 

They spent the rest of the time eating and joking, several gentle shoves back and forth, until Gail didn’t have any excuses left to keep from leaving. 

“I better go find Chloe and get back on the road, we don’t exactly have a designated lunch time,” Gail sighed with a small pout. 

“Crime stops for no one,” Holly said in a gravelly voice that made Gail fall sideways with laughter.

“You probably read comic books when you were younger, didn’t you?” Gail said as she got up from the ledge, throwing their garbage into the sandwich bag. 

“What do you mean when I was younger?” Holly said with a raised eyebrow. It was a facial expression Gail was getting used to very quickly. Gail just shook her head, still laughing, as she walked toward the door. Holly caught up with her, grinning, and bumped her shoulder into Gail’s. 

“See you soon?” Gail said as they got to the front parking lot. 

“That a promise?” Holly responded with another raise of an eyebrow, but this one was less joking and more suggestive. Gail had to ignore the flip in her stomach. This was heading toward dangerous territory. She decided on keeping the playful atmosphere between them. 

“Well that depends if you can wash the smell of rotting bones off you. I don’t know if I can stand it much longer,” Gail said as she made a face. Then laughed when Holly’s expression changed to a mix of offense and amusement. Gail gave her a wide smile with a tilt of her head and walked back into the station.

She met Chloe back at their cruiser. 

“Where were you? Dov had to bail; him and Oliver have a theft case. I couldn’t see you in the lunch room,” Chloe asked intrusively. It was starting to grate on Gail.

“Had to sit alone at the kid’s table for lunch? Sorry I had to miss that,” she sniped. Chloe rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and got in the car. 

They were only driving in silence for a few minutes before Chloe spoke up again.

“Were you with your friend from the wedding? What was her name… Holly? She seemed nice. I don’t know why you wouldn’t –“ 

“You never shut up do you,” Gail groaned. Chloe didn’t seem to be deterred.

“I just don’t get why you’re being so secretive. No one’s going to care if you made a new friend,” Chloe said matter-of-factly. “Oh wait! I get it,” Chloe said like a light bulb had switched on in her head. Gail panicked for a moment – could Chloe really know? – before Gail remembered there was nothing for Chloe to know, there was nothing for Gail to be worried about. Chloe continued with her theory. “It’s that new friend thing where you sort of feel possessive and you don’t want to share, right? I mean, I get that. Sometimes you just like to keep new things to yourself without complicating them,” Chloe explained, seeming very pleased with herself for figuring it out. 

Gail opened her mouth to dispute then shut it again. Maybe that did sort of explain how she was feeling. She could justify that to herself sort of, not wanting to share her new friend. Not wanting other people to like Holly, because Holly was just Gail’s friend right now. 

“Caught me,” Gail said, still trying to act like she didn’t care about anything Chloe had just said. Trying not to let Chloe realize how accurate she might really be. Chloe finally shut up after that, and Gail didn’t like how smug she seemed. At least she left her alone for the rest of their shift. 

Traci found her in the locker room again. “Want me to come over again tonight? Help you pick your next outfit?” she asked, biting her lip so as not to smile to widely. 

“Um, no. I think I’ll just stay in tonight. Take a break from this a-date-a-night thing,” Gail said, hoping Traci would leave it alone soon. “Just eat some ice cream and watch TV, you know, relax.”

This seemed to finally convince Traci. “Alright, that actually sounds really good. We should have another girl’s night soon.”

As if on cue, Andy walked by and said goodnight to them. Gail looked away and Traci made a face. “Right, sorry. Maybe not quite yet,” she revised. Gail didn’t want to split up their friend group or make anyone choose sides – somewhat because she probably wouldn’t end up with anyone on her side – but she wasn’t going to be hanging out with Andy any time soon. “You should keep seeing the guy that made you so happy. You need to get back up on the horse; it might help you get over all this Nick and Andy stuff.”

“Over it? I’m totally over it,” Gail shrugged. “And anyway, speaking of getting back on the horse, maybe you should be taking your own advice? Call my brother?”

Traci rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop nagging so much. Goodnight Gail,” she added wryly as she turned to leave. 

Gail went home and did just as she said she would. She settled on the couch with a small bowl of ice cream, already in pyjama pants and a tank top. She was scrolling through the endless list of TV programs on the menu when her phone buzzed. She was surprised to see it was a text from Holly.

_Batman’s on. You should brush up on your comic vigilantes._

Gail rolled her eyes, thinking about how she’d make fun of Holly were she actually there. _I see enough crime fighting during my day job, thanks_ , she replied. 

_But certainly not enough capes, right? If so, I’m a little concerned for Toronto._

Gail laughed at the mental image of going into work and having to deal with caped crusaders. Her and Holly texted back and forth for a long time until Gail fell asleep on the couch. She hadn’t even ended up watching anything at all. 

The next day, she had to ride with Chloe again. She wasn’t sure if she was being punished, or if it was better this way now that Chloe had stopped asking so many questions. In the afternoon, she got a text from Holly.

Movie night? They’re showing old Hitchcock films all week at that cool theatre downtown. 

Gail bit her lip. She wasn’t sure if she liked Hitchcock films, but Holly had a way of getting her to try new things and Gail liked her company. She replied, Sure, but you owe me buttery popcorn and licorice. 

Deal, Holly replied. Meet there at 7:30. Movie’s at 8. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never actually seen any Hitchcock films!” was the first thing Holly said when Gail finally got to the theatre. She’d accidentally let that little fact slip during their back and forth texts that afternoon. 

“Shut up. I was busy having a life, thank you very much,” Gail said defensively. 

Holly just smiled and linked her arm through Gail’s. “Come on.”

As promised, there was both popcorn and licorice and Gail opened the pack of candy before they even got to their seats. They’d ordered one big drink with two straws because that way all three things came as a combo. The theatre wasn’t busy and they picked an aisle closer to the back, sitting as close to dead center as they could. No one else even sat in their row.

While Gail thought the movie was supposed to be serious and intense, Holly would point out little things and whisper in her ear. Gail would giggle and they’d both get dirty looks from the other audience members.

“Shut up, we’re gonna get kicked out,” Gail whispered while trying not to laugh giddily. She offered the pack of candy to Holly who grinned and took a long piece of licorice out. 

As they left the theatre laughing after the movie, Holly hooked her arm through Gail’s again. She’d had a good time, and didn’t even feel a little bad for maybe ruining the experience for some people. 

“Hey, do you need a ride home?” Holly asked. Gail had taken a cab there, so she was contemplating taking up Holly’s offer. 

“Umm, I don’t know. Easy enough to just get a cab,” she said half-heartedly as she looked at the cabs lined along the street. When she turned back to Holly, she was far too close. Holly’s hand was loosely on one of Gail’s wrist, and the other was on Gail’s waist. She leaned in closer and Gail didn’t move. She could smell the mix of buttery popcorn and strawberry licorice on her lips and it was so so enticing. It was her choice now, unlike the coatroom when Holly had surprised her. She had to consciously decide what she was doing and it was too much, so as Holly leaned almost closing the gap, Gail took a step back.

“Sorry,” Gail said, and Holly’s hands fell to her side. 

“No. No, I’m sorry,” Holly replied, clasping her hands together in front of herself awkwardly. “I guess I read that wrong.”

“No. Yeah. Yes. I’m just gonna… grab a taxi. Sorry,” Gail finished and turned around to get into the nearest cab. Her heart was racing and she could barely hear the cab driver ask her where he was going over the blood rushing she heard in her ears. When they were finally moving, she lowered her head into her hands. She couldn’t really deny anymore that what she’d been doing with Holly was flirting. She wasn’t just hanging out with a friend, she was going on dates. She called Traci before she even knew what she was doing. 

“Hey Gail, what’s –“ Traci started, but Gail interrupted her. 

“Hellpppp meeee,” she groaned into the receiver. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Traci said, concerned. 

“Ugh, nothing. No, can you come over?” Gail asked, pinching her nose. She didn’t really want to talk about this, but going home and staring at the TV or trying to sleep wasn’t going to be any help either. 

“Sure, I’ll be right there.”

Gail was able to get home and change into her pyjamas before Traci got there. She unlocked the door when she buzzed Traci up and then laid down face first on her couch.

“Hey Gail, what happened?” said Traci cautiously as she shut the door behind her. 

“I ahffdnt ahduh budh,” Gail mumbled into her pillow.

Traci moved to sit on the armrest of the couch and comb her fingers through Gail’s hair. “I really want to help, but I’m gonna need you to actually tell me what happened,” she said reasonably. Traci was acting very mom-like and Gail didn’t exactly mind. She huffed a long breath out into the pillow before turning her head so Traci might be able to hear her. 

“I sort of lied about something,” Gail said, trying to be tactful. Traci didn’t say anything, just kept running her fingers through Gail’s hair. “I didn’t go out with that guy the other night.”

“Mmhmm,” Traci said, intrigued. “But, you did go out?”

“Mmhmm,” Gail said innocently.

“With who, then?” Traci prompted her.

“Holly,” Gail said quietly. So quiet that she wasn’t even sure Traci heard. There was silence for a while; Traci was trying to remember if she knew a Holly.

“Wait, the girl from the wedding?”

“That’s the one,” Gail admitted.

“And?” Traci asked, confused. “So you hung out with Holly instead of going on a date, why are you freaking out?”

Gail buried her face back into her pillow and mumbled something else. Traci stopped playing with Gail’s hair and used a menacing tone to say her name, like she was scolding. Gail gave in and turned her head again. 

“I think it was a date. Holly’s a lesbian,” Gail said each sentence shortly and then it was like a dam broke. “She kissed me at the wedding but she acted like it didn’t mean anything, so I did too. But we hung out again and then again… and then again and then she almost kissed me tonight but we weren’t drunk and it was different! And I totally freaked out and I have no idea what I’m doing.” Gail finished with a groan. When Traci said nothing, Gail sat up so she could see her. Traci’s eyes were wide and her mouth was dropped open. 

“Oh my god!” Traci yelled as her mouth morphed into a wide grin. “Didn’t know you had it in you Gail,” she said teasingly. 

“Shut up! This is serious,” Gail said, but already felt better just finally telling someone the truth about all of it. 

“Okay, okay,” Traci said. “Look, all I know is that when I saw you in the locker the night after your… date,” she watched Gail carefully to make sure she wasn’t bothered. “I have never seen you so happy. Like, ever.”

“Ugh, it’s dumb I know,” Gail rolled her eyes. 

“No. Gail, it’s good. You deserve to be happy and it doesn’t matter who it is that makes you happy. If you both want to be with each other, than you owe it to yourself to give it a shot,” Traci said with her hand under Gail’s chin. 

“I think I might’ve screwed it up a bit tonight,” Gail said, guiltily looking down. 

“Then fix it,” Traci said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. She smiled at Gail then said she had to get back home. Gail walked her to the door. 

“Hey, thanks,” Gail said as she squeezed Traci’s hand. 

“Goodluck,” Traci said with a grin and then she left. 

~*~

Gail couldn’t figure out exactly what to say to Holly, or when or how. Traci kept giving her knowing looks, but she avoided talking about it. She flipped back and forth between regretting telling Traci anything and being grateful she had someone who knew what she was going through. 

Gail immersed herself in work the day after their talk. Luckily she and Chloe caught a case that was pretty time consuming and Gail didn’t have much time to think about anything else. Like what she was supposed to say to Holly. Because “Sorry I freaked out because I realized you actually like me” probably wasn’t going to work. She also didn’t know what she expected to come from this anyway. Yeah, sure, she was unhappy and alone, but was being with Holly worth all the shit that is bound to come from it? Gail groaned because A) she was NOT supposed to be thinking about this when she had a file in front of her and case that needed solving and B) there was something in the back of her brain screaming, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

They caught the armed robber the next day, late at night. Gail finally clocked out and Traci invited her to the Penny. Gail considered the offer. 

“Nah, I think I have something to do,” she said, biting her lip.

“It’s about time,” Traci replied and headed off. 

Gail pulled out her cell phone and opened a text to Holly, then decided against it. They’d split a cab after the wedding and Holly had been dropped off first. Gail tried to remember where she lived and went on her way. 

She knew she was on the right street for sure, but she couldn’t remember what building. She had to run up to three different apartments before finding Holly’s name on the listing. She pressed the button a few times. 

“Hello?” a groggy-voice Holly answered.

“Hey,” Gail said, suddenly feeling so nervous she might puke. “It’s me. Can I come up?”

Holly didn’t respond but the door buzzed and Gail went in, noting Holly’s room apartment number from the directory. 

She only knocked on the door once before Holly opened it. Her hair was down, long and messy, and she was wearing her larger glasses. Some of Gail’s nerves turned into fondness. 

“Did I wake you up or something?” Gail checked her watch. It was only 9 pm. 

“No. Kind of. Just fell asleep in front of the TV,” Holly said. “How… did you know where I live?” Holly asked, just realizing she’d never told Gail.

“I, um, remembered the street from the wedding. But this was the third building I tried,” Gail said, trying to gauge Holly’s reaction. Her face was blank for a few moments and then she couldn’t help but grin.

“Stalker,” Holly laughed. Then she opened the door wider and finally let Gail step in.

They stood awkwardly in the middle of Holly’s apartment, Gail trying to gather up her courage. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” Holly said first. “I guess I have a bad habit of falling for straight girls.”

“Wait, no. Me first,” Gail interrupted. “I’m sorry. It probably seemed like I was sending mixed signals but,” Gail stopped to try and word everything properly.

“But what?” Holly said with that smug smile Gail totally hated.

Gail sighed. “Look, I don’t get how to do this okay? I don’t even know what this is. All I know is that you make me laugh and I like hanging out with you and I like your stupid smiles and your nerdy glasses,” Gail spoke like it physically pained her to admit to so many things. Holly was just staring at her with wide eyes. 

“So this isn’t some revenge rebound thing right? Scorned by the ex, so you experiment with girls?” Holly asked hesitantly. Gail had never seen her so unsure. 

“That honestly never even occurred to me. Nick is the last person I’ve been thinking about these days, actually,” Gail said honestly. 

“Okay,” Holly said with a smile. 

“Okay what?” Gail asked, not sure where the conversation had taken a turn. 

“Okay, we can try and go on actual dates maybe? And not pretend to be friend’s hanging out?” Holly asked as she stepped closer. 

“I think I can do that,” Gail said. Holly was close again and Gail remembered the other night when Holly smelled like strawberries and she wished she could’ve tasted it on her lips. The thought caught Gail off guard and she bit her lip. 

“We can take it slow,” Holly said, sensing Gail’s nerves. But Gail was done with slow, and she was done with waiting. She was going to just take what she wanted and not worry about what anyone else would say about it. 

She reached out a hand to wrap behind Holly’s head and pull her in. Their lips pressed together and while Holly was initially surprised, she snapped out of it quickly. She moved her lips slowly against Gail’s, and it was sweet and soft and so much better sober. Holly’s hands went to Gail’s waist as she nipped at Gail’s lower lip. Gail sucked in a breath then pressed in closer. She might be new to kissing girls, but she wasn’t new to kissing. And this was so much better than any first kiss (okay, second if you’re getting technical) she’d ever had. 

They drew apart after minutes that felt too short. Gail leaned back with Holly’s hands still around her waist. 

“So you thing my glasses are nerdy, huh?” Holly teased.

Gail just laughed. “You couldn’t have gotten dorkier glasses if you tried.”

“You should’ve seen the ones I had in high school,” Holly grinned. 

Gail rolled her eyes. “I should go,” she said, thinking about work tomorrow. She didn’t really want to leave because it felt like everything would become more real when she did. She wished she could stay in Holly’s apartment and they could just watch dumb movies and kiss forever, but Gail didn’t want to even let herself hope that was an option. 

“Okay. We should do this again some time,” Holly said like they were discussing lunch between business associates. Gail laughed again.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Gail grinned back and Holly kissed her again. 

“Are you sure you have to leave? There’s a Mythbusters marathon on,” Holly said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

Gail bit her lip. “Maybe… just for one episode,” she said. 

Holly took Gail’s coat and threw it on an armchair as she went to sit on the couch. She patted the spot beside her and Gail curled up there, leaning into Holly’s shoulder with Holly’s arm around her. Maybe she couldn’t stay there forever, but an hour or two wouldn’t hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out way longer than I initially intended! And there is a high chance I will post extra chapters or ficlets in this series.


End file.
